
I had a battle with a wasp this morning. It was that big I was like a lion tamer with a chair and a whip. It must have been some sort of mutated freak of nature. Big as an american football, a stinger that would kill a giraffe and fangs as sharp as needles!
I walked into the bedroom and heard a buzz. Not a little buzz, more of a chainsaw sound, high pitched, aggressive. The damn thing flew straight at me and I automatically jumped. Well when I say jumped I ended up on top of the wardrobe, cowering. The killer wasp turned and for a second we were eye to eye, fear gripped me as it launched itself again. Terrified, I dived and rolled off the bed like a stunt double and quickly grabbed a cup and unopened letter. It suddenly decided to land on the window and I that was my moment, the one and only chance. My legs sprang up and I expertly tried to cup the beast. It made a noise that chilled me to the bone, like a buzzy scream of rage. It was that strong it made the mug jump! Luckily I then had the opportunity to put the letter underneath, trapping the flying horror. Somehow I managed to get it to the open window and let it escape. It flew off but incredibly turned to come back in. I was like lightening, slamming the window shut. It angrily banged it’s ugly head against the glass then disappeared, probably looking for a new victim.
Alright, I may have over exaggerated a tiny bit…… It wasn’t as big as that but it did scare the crap out of me!
25 replies on “THE WASP FROM HELL.”
Wow, I’m glad that avoided the death sting, Vinny! 😂😎🇬🇧
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It was a close one John!
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🤣🤣 Those killer wasps are evil buggers!
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Terrifying Hobbo!
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😂
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Yikes! You need a fly swatter
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Shotgun would have been better!
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Yikes! 😀
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Very funny! 🙂 I’m glad you weren’t stung!
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Was a very close call!
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OH what a HORRIFYING experience!!! I’m sure it must have taken you hours to recover! And Vinny? I think you’d make an excellent writer of fiction! 😄 While I love most all insects, especially bees, I am not a fan of either wasps or hornets, for they are just downright mean. I have a bumblebee friend who I talk to in the mornings when I go out to water the flowers, and occasionally he perches on my nose while we chat. But I’d never get that close to a wasp. You were a brave man!
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You have a bee on your nose?!? That’s like a horror movie to me! What if it stings you and your nose comes up like Jimmy Durante’s?! I’ve been stung a few times by wasps and the pain is a killer.
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A bumblebee, Vinny … calm down … bumblebees are all but harmless and will almost never sting unless you threaten them. I remember one time decades ago I used to hang our sheets outdoors on the clothesline to dry. Well, one night I had put fresh sheets on the bed when all of a sudden my then-husband began screaming … and then I felt it … sting after sting! A group of wasps had nested in the fitted sheet and once we went to bed, they decided it was dinner time! Yes, that pain was a killer!
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Ouch!!
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Sounds like a close one! 😅 My cat attacks them…
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Our dog did the same and never got stung. Lucky or just plain stupid I don’t know!
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Perhaps in the edit you could remove “cup” and substitute “bucket”. Just a suggestion…
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It was a very big cup though…a huge mug!
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“Huge mug” has a Shakespearean ring to it . . .
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Actually now I think about it I went to school with a kid called Hugh Jmug….
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Did you have a Hugh Janus at school? 🙂
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Yeah but I’ve slimmed off now.
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🙂 😉 🙂
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This is hilarious and very well written.
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Thank you very much!
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