Zelny Salat…

Greetings from Hradec Kralove! Well the language barrier seems to be getting bigger, not smaller here. I had a conversation with a lady behind a meat/cheese/salad counter yesterday. It started badly, then got worse and ended up a car crash. I was glancing at the coleslaw, all different kinds and it all looked a bit grim to me. My wife loves the stuff but I forgive her for that. So I said the usual, ‘I don’t speak Czech’ and she had a face that said, “Piss off.” So I smiled, you can’t go wrong with a smile can you? A smile is universal, but on this occasion she just glared back at me. She was an older lady, very ginger which may have accounted for the attitude. “Ah… maly…..ah…..coleslaw….Salat!” Which means small pot of coleslaw. “Proseem!” I added, saying please. She started waffling about, shrugging her hefty shoulders and waving at all the different coloured coleslaws. I pointed to one that vaguely looked like the one back home, but still looked a bit like old dogsick. Her voice rose and the arms flapped again. I smiled again, surely that would work. “Ne….Ne….just coleslaw!…..proseem!” I don’t know what she thought I was saying as she pointed at the cheese, her mouth going like the clappers. “Ne!….Ne!….. bloody coleslaw!……Proseem!” She waved her arms higher, faster and gave me some sort of mouthful. She acted like I’d asked to take her clothes off the way she went on. I decided to call it a day, smiled again “Pardon…. pardon,” which I thought means sorry but she waved her hand away. You live and learn I suppose…. Coleslaw is definitely off the menu…