Categories
blog Boris, sleaze, politics.party funny money

Captain Johnson

If Boris Johnson was the Captain of the Titanic….. “Let’s not dither and delay! Yes the waters have been choppy and the iceberg was avoidable! But I’ve already made significant change’s. The lookouts have assured me no party took place. It’s time to put it behind us and get the job done!” “But a third […]

Categories
blog cartoons funny Scooby doo

SCOOBY POO!

Scooby Doo came on telly the other day. I used to love cartoons when I was a kid, Tom and Jerry, Daffy duck, Speedy Gonzales that kind of thing. But my favourite had to be Scooby. All those adventures with monsters and werewolves that turned out to be the caretaker or the bank manager. Those […]

Categories
blog death nature wild.

Intensive Scare.

So there I was in the garden, sun shining, busying around like Alan Titchmarsh on speed. Cutting the tree back a bit and getting rid of the jungle at the bottom of the garden. It’s that overgrown I expected a couple of blue arsed baboon’s to jump out it’s that lush. I had an itchy […]

Categories
blog HULL

NORTH POINT.

We have a few shopping centres dotted about here in Hull. These kind of places are all very similar aren’t they, same shops, same bright lights. But we have one here slap bang in the middle of a huge council estate in the north of the city that’s been around for years. It’s called North […]

Categories
blog history old stuff!

Family history

I’ve been researching my family tree for a few years now, off and on because basically, I’m hoping somewhere down the line I have royal blood. After all I have ears like Prince Charles. Or if not regal, at the very least a Lord or Lady. I’m still searching but all I’ve found is paupers, […]

Categories
blog DIY funny intelligence, brains, clever,

Back door blues…

So the dining room door has dropped…. You have to kind of lift the handle to close it with a grinding snap, the whole frame shuddering, a 5.5 on the Richter scale. I tell myself it’s a five, ten minute job, no problem. But nearly an hour later I’m scratching my head with the door […]

Categories
funny poem relationship The Ick

The Ick…

Never knew what the Ick was until I watched Love Island (Don’t be judging me) and apparently it’s when a woman goes off a man… A gin and tonicHe feels bionicDoesn’t know it’s just platonicIt’s catastrophicShe’s catatonicBored to tears it’s unharmonicHe’s philamonicStereophonicFlying high,supersonicHe’s just colonicSubmoronicAvoid him like the plague bubonicHe goes erratic She gets sardonicCrack’s […]

Categories
fairy tail, justice, Goldilocks, funny,

Once upon a time..

I’m writing a book. It’s a thrilling thriller. When I say I’m writing it’s just the first page so far, well the title anyway. It’s called GOLDILOCKS. THE REVENGE. The story goes like this… After the porridge incident Goldie becomes a delinquent, in and out of junvinile courts and blames those bears dressed as humans […]

Categories
award,blogs,

Award!!

I’ve won an award! The Honourable Order of Best Blog owners! The last time I actually won something was in the amusement arcade in Bridlington. One of those grabber machines. Might have been a teddy bear, or a dog…not a real one that would be cruel sticking a pooch in the glass box. So thank […]

Categories
spam, Monty python, spam, spam, humour spam

Spam Spam Spam and Spam!

As some of you know on here, I’m not the most technically minded individual. Not for lack of trying though I’m just thick. I was having a look around the ‘view admin’ area here on WordPress and bloody hell I have over a hundred spam messages! At first I thought I was just popular but […]

Categories
drinking Holiday, Greece life poem SUMMER

FUN IN THE SUN!

Flying away to sand and sun, a little hanky panky, with some girl, name unknown, ouzo breathe, quite lanky, Wakey wakey! The Brits are here, the yobs are back in town, The girls aren’t too far behind, how many drinks can they down? Booming sound and flashing lights, drink and pop those pills, No pail […]

Categories
drinking party, money SUMMER

Weekend Plans?

What are your plans for this weekend? Anything exciting? I’m thinking of taking my private jet to the south of France and stay on my super yacht for a day or two. Or maybe go a little bit further, skim across the sea to Tuscany and visit my favourite restaurant, La Donk’e Hoof. The head […]