PUSSYCAT OR LION?

My wife said this morning how much I’ve mellowed and now I’m a pussycat…..”My little pussycat…” I don’t know if I should be happy or offended… I don’t want to be a pussycat…I want to be a lion…. I DONT WANT TO BE A PUSSYCAT, I WANT TO BE A LION, SAT ON THE SAVANNA, […]

PROCASTINATE

It’s time to tidy the garden, that’s a very good idea, Or do a spot of D.I.Y, it is that time of year, I could cook up some tasty food or just make a cup of tea, But I really can’t be arsed, and I badly need a wee, I could paint a masterpiece, make […]

PAINTING HOUSES.

About a year before the pandemic a council estate next to where I live was being flattened to make way for ‘Affordable Housing’. All those empty homes attracted vandals who decided they would help with the demolishing. Lighting fires, causing havoc and general mayhem…. Then some bright spark had a good idea… Let professional graffiti […]

VALENTINE’S PAY..

I’m a hopeless romantic. And if you’re lucky enough to have found a soulmate then you’ve got it made…. But…. Valentine’s Day…Why does it cost three times as much to buy a bunch of flowers? Or double the price for a box of chocolates because they’ve got a red ribbon on them….And the cards are […]

THE FASTEST NUN IN THE WEST….

How were your school days? Good? Bad?….Well I don’t know who said school days are the best days of your life but what an idiot! And they definitely didn’t go to my school….. Nowadays teachers and pupils are almost friends the way they are with each other. Back in the 70s when corporal punishment ruled […]