The weather here is finally warming up. The sky is a beautiful clear blue and the days have lengthened. People walking around with untanned, pale legs and burnt red faces. Summer is waiting in the wings. On the down side it also means the neighbour has his rap music on loud. Now it’s not my kind of thing but each to their own.
It’s like that mad fella Kanye West or Snoop Dogg have come to stay at his for awhile. The delights of Hull must be a bit different to downtown L.A or wherever there cribs are. I don’t think they’d like it very much though, with its keen wind blowing off the Humber. Not a Californian hot breeze more of an artic blast sometimes. In fact it’s one of the only places where you can get sunburn and frostbite on the same day.
Our back garden joins his, via a fence and quite a bit of greenery, so I’ve never seen him in the flesh. He might dress like a rapper for all I know, all gold chains and baseball cap askew. East Yorkshire’s very own Eminem. I have heard him speak, well, shout at the kids or try and sing along ( I use the term loosely ) to Dr Dre but he’s always slightly behind and sounds a bit winded, like an asthmatic donkey, wheezing away. Even the birds cover their ears with their wings he’s that bad. Cats run off, dogs yelp. So spare a thought this summer when you’re peacefully sat in your garden, chilled drink in hand listening to the sounds of nature, while my lugs are attacked by Drake, lil Wayne, The Notorious B.I.G etc….. You never know I might get into it actually, go all gangsta and cruise around in my pimpmobile instead of this dirty volvo. Don’t dis me! A bit of swag, get jiggy then chillax! It’s sick and I’m outy! Running red light…..!Maybe not though, think I’ll stick to the oldies on the radio….