blog death life paracetamol

Killer painkiller.

What a great start to the year….nearly choked to death…..

Had a bit of a headache yesterday (no it wasn’t a hangover!) so decided to take a couple of paracetamol. The first one slid down with a swig of water so I repeated the process as you do but the little blighter got lodged in my throat. More water! More water! But that still didn’t do the trick. At this point the tablet felt like a pebble and I’m trying to keep my cool, stood in the kitchen, swaying. A biscuit! Any biscuit. So I scrambled over to the cupboard and pulled out a rich tea biscuit which turned out to be a mistake as chomping something as dry as a camel’s hoof when choking on a tablet is not a quick fix. I chewed and chewed, desperately trying to swallow this now cement like consistency but all it did was clog up my whole throat. Water! More water! By now I’m like Corporal Jones from Dad’s Army. Don’t Panic!! Don’t Panic!! Bread! Dry bread! That’ll sort it. So I grab a slice of wholemeal, rip a piece of and throw it in my mouth, jaw working overtime. I tried again to swallow and then, incredibly, the bread got stuck! I’m now trying to breathe through my nose and turning blue at the same time. I couldn’t even cry out for help and my throat feels twice it’s normal size. Drink! Drink! I fill the glass up and just pour it in, my mouth filling up and now I’m thinking I’m going to drown as things start to go black. Then…. slowly, the whole mound of chewed up food slides down painfully, my Adams apple felt like it was moving sideways. Air filled my grateful lungs at last. The strange thing is, my headache had completely gone. They must be the fastest acting paracetamol in the world…


By Vinny

Middle aged geriatric from Hull, England.Slighty mad but aren't we all?

41 replies on “Killer painkiller.”

I was thinking of that Heimlich fella when I was choking. Where was he when I needed him! Yeah was scary and my life flashed before my eyes….all the bad bits anyway. Wasn’t pleasant viewing!

Liked by 1 person

Laughing… it was either the medicine or your panic to get the medicine / food down that made you forget you had a headache. POOF – back go normal. I’ve had that happened, it sure makes us panic. Glad you SURVIVED to write this after the fact, amusing post.

Liked by 1 person

Two words: pill cutter. No need to run out to the pharmacy for a fancy pill cutter; anything with an edge will do. A knife, obviously, A spoon. Even your teeth. You painted a very vivid picture for us and should be the poster boy for ‘How Not To Take Paracetamol”. BTW – the bread trick rarely works on big pills and that’s one honking big pill. Get a pill cutter, Vinny.

Liked by 1 person

Obviously I should be sympathetic, and I may try that after I finish laughing. But then again, I may not. I take most pills without water and have no trouble, though when I do it’s usually the paracetamol as they are on the big side and don’t have any sort of coating to smooth the way.

On that subject, have you thought of suppositories? Get yourself a jar of Vaseline and improvise!


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