Christmas,poetry. elf on the shelf funny


My dearest Elf…….

Please Elf on the shelf

You’re so full of impish fun

But if I see you one more time

I’ll dig out my tommy gun

Go back from where you came

That factory faraway in China

That little creepy face of yours

Is giving me angina

And if I see you near my house

Twinkly bulbs all beautifully lit

I’ll pull your head off, and break your arms

You commercialized little shit!

By Vinny

Middle aged geriatric from Hull, England.Slighty mad but aren't we all?

30 replies on “Elf”

Hee hee. I love that. Where did the bleddy things come from. They weren’t around when we were kids. My mum and dad would have strangled it – icing sugar footprints on the carpet would not have gone down well – especially as we only had a Bex Bissell to get it up! Top job Vinnie 🙂


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s