Elf

My dearest Elf…….

Please Elf on the shelf

You’re so full of impish fun

But if I see you one more time

I’ll dig out my tommy gun

Go back from where you came

That factory faraway in China

That little creepy face of yours

Is giving me angina

And if I see you near my house

Twinkly bulbs all beautifully lit

I’ll pull your head off, and break your arms

You commercialized little shit!