The Unhappy Elf.

You see a lot of them, this time of year. Faces that should be shining with glad tidings and joy but look more like a slapped arse. Their cup of Christmas cheer is leaking and definitely down to the dregs. Those morose shop assistants having to wear a ridiculous hat whatever the circumstances….

Had a bit of a busy morning yesterday and didn’t really have breakfast and lunch so popped into a cafe in a supermarket to feed the inner man. We decided quickly what to eat. Turkey and stuffing sandwich with cranberry sauce. It is Christmas after all and Cliff Richard was warbling on a crackly sound system telling us about ‘logs on the fire and gifts on a tree’ so let the festive season begin. Ho Ho Ho! All the staff had little elf hats on and were quite jolly. A few laughs as they placed full plates on tables and all in all a very nice atmosphere. Then we went to order… And there she was…. The grumpiest elf I’ve ever seen. For a start she completely blanked us, instead filling up the coffee machine. She turned our way with a glance that was as cold as the north pole then dropped the large cardboard box she carried and gave it a hefty kick with a grunt of satisfaction, sliding it under the nearest table. The unhappy elf then sauntered to the til, not a word was spoken and she gazed at us both. Even the little elf hat looked miserable. I ordered the grub and told her, ” I don’t want cranberry in the sarny thanks.”

With a look of hate she started tapping the small screen with newly Christmas manicured nails. A Santa helper with talons. The tip tap went on…..and on…and on. I thought she must be texting someone to be honest. Maybe telling Mrs Santa that this weirdo didn’t want cranberry at Christmas. I wouldn’t mind but all she had to do was turn her grumpy head around as the kitchen was directly behind and shout, “No cranberry in this sandwich!” After she’d given the digital order I remembered and said, “Oh I want a tea and coffee please.” Not one single word was spoken just tip bloody tapped for what seemed an age. She gave me a total and I paid saying heartily, “Merry Christmas!” The unhappiest elf didn’t even give me a glance, just looked at the next customer and muttered, “Yeah?” Now I don’t know if this particular elf had a hard day in Santa’s workshop or was just a miserable git but I really couldn’t feel the Christmas spirit from her…

Anyhow, wherever you are out there in WordPressland, may I wish you a very Merry Christmas!

Advertisement