
I know nature is a wonderful thing, our planet is amazing isn’t it, from the highest peaks of The Andes to the black, bottomless oceans. Creatures of all kinds, from plankton to whales, ants to elephants it really is incredible. And one thing I like about wild animals, birds especially, they are much better at a distance…
We have a small hole in the fachia board that needs repairing, but a couple of months ago I noticed a bird going in. I don’t know much about bods but it was black, had a beak and feathers. But now there isn’t just one, we have a frigging family of them tweeting all day, every day. But the most annoying thing about them is they poo from a great height and it lands directly next to the dining room door. It’s everywhere! They slop out like an inmate in a Victorian prison. As soon as I clean it they have a competition who can make the most mess. The bathroom window looks like it’s had a custard pie thrown at it. Ricky the window cleaner will need a high powered jet to get all the crap off. The dawn chorus is now a full blown symphony with a conga line along the guttering thrown in.
A BBQ is out of the question. It’ll be raining birdshit. Everyone will need a brolly and a sou’wester. Whatever these flying faeces machines eat it goes through them faster than a bullet train. One thing is certain, when they migrate that hole is fixed. I don’t care if they think it’s a holiday home and will pop back next spring like all’s fine. But for now it’s time to put a hat on, get shoveling…..and don’t look up….
15 replies on “Wonders of nature”
Raining shit! Perish the thought 😳
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These birds are like politicians, so much shite comes out of them….
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Exactly 💩
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Now that the trees are thick with leaf, I can’t tell which bird just used the freshly laundered bedsheets with dijon-ish guano. You hardly dare dry anything outside at this time of year!
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How can so few a birds, produce so much shite?!
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The Gibbs firm’s profits from guano in 1860 was £12.9million. Start collecting quick!
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I’ve got buckets!
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Politicians are shite!
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Agreed!
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Black bottomless oceans? That fills me with dread. Where on earth does it come out? Isn’t bird shite meant to be lucky? You’d better get the lottery tickets in Vinny.
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I hadn’t thought of that! I don’t feel lucky to be honest, this morning I looked like I’d been paintballing.
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😂😂😂
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Birds can truly be a great test of endurance. I imagine their poop as their way of putting us in our place 🙂
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Well they’ve certainly put me in my place!
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I should share that I once parked my car (here in Singapore) in an open space and when I came back there were 7 (!!!) poos all over including one on the handle. 🙂
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