The wind in the pillows

Man alive we bought some Brussel sprouts the other day. It was the very last bag and I wish someone else had got to them first. I always used to think a sprout is not just for Christmas, but all year round. Not now. I’ve banned them for life. My God the wind they created could light up a City for a week. We had to put a photo of a skull and crossbones on the front door and open every window. I woke up in the night to find the duvet floating above my head. So I turned over and my wife had a gas mask on… They must grow them differently here in Central Europe. Maybe it’s a mixture of horse shit, sulphur and nitroglycerin instead of good old compost. I’m not allowed out of the house because of severe flatulence which is a pity as we were going to a BBQ but I can’t have a naked flame near me as I’ll probably explode…..

BOOM!