All these older people who pay ludicrous prices to work out in a gym are nuts. And you don’t need these indoor bike apps were you sit in front of the telly, wobbling away and sweating, breathing your last breath as an insane voice shouts at you to go faster. All you need is a […]
Middle aged geriatric from Hull, England.Slighty mad but aren't we all?
I don’t know were I went wrong… I come from a long line of meat pie eaters going far back to the middle ages. In fact if you look carefully at the Bayeux tapestry, you can clearly see one of my ancestors chomping on a Cornish pastie as King Harold gets the arrow in his […]
I’m lovin it!
You see all forms of human life in Macdonald’s. From the business lady in the flash suit, tapping an impatient red shoe on the fairly dirty floor, waiting. Two lads dressed in black jackets, hoods up, trying to look menacing but failing miserably. Or a couple of young mums with four kids, oblivious to the […]
I’ve been bit busy of late and was in the Czech Republic last week. When I left this beauty was nowhere near a bud but when we came home there it was, in full bloom. Mother nature take a bow…
How do sheep get to sleep? Do they count you and I? Jumping fences one by one? In a warm summer sky, Do they dream? Have nightmares too? Of scary foxes? Just what do they do? Or a bloodsoaked butcher? A’ hungry and a glutton, With cleaver ready, nice and sharp, To turn them into […]
It’s strange….I’m now in my late fifties. I know, I know, it’s amazing isn’t it, don’t look a day over twenty. But one thing I noticed in Tenerife were the amount of elderly people tottering about. Hundreds of old British, German and Spanish spring chickens bumping into each other, shuffling along. It’s a kind of […]
I was listening to the radio the other morning. The DJ started waffling on as DJs do, he asked, “If you had a time machine and could go back in time, where would you go and why?” All the usual answers came in. To see the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. Pompeii as Mount […]
Dog on wheels…
Good God I’ve seen some weird sights in my time but I witnessed the strangest thing while I was on holiday. A local couple walked slowly beside the harbour as we sat on a bench. Wonderful, hot sunshine beating down onto my pale, vitamin D deficient skin. Two buskers had a saxophone/ piano thing going […]
Never been on a winter holiday before. Haven’t really had the inclination but the kids (God knows why I still call them kids, all three of them are in their thirties) bought us as holiday as it’s our twenty fifth wedding anniversary, so this is currently my view….. It’s mid twenties but feels hotter to […]
Life in the slow lane…
Man I’ve been feeling rough the last few weeks. A combination of heart failure and long covid has been giving me a kick or two, three and four! So I haven’t been doing much to be honest, started a few blogs but just can’t seem to get the flow going. Bunged up like a constipated […]
What a great start to the year….nearly choked to death….. Had a bit of a headache yesterday (no it wasn’t a hangover!) so decided to take a couple of paracetamol. The first one slid down with a swig of water so I repeated the process as you do but the little blighter got lodged in […]
The Last Breath.
The man lay in the semi darkness. Wires attached to his chest and neck spooled upward to various machines that beeped and glowed. The hiss of oxygen was very loud to him, the mask tight and uncomfortable on his cheeks. They moved him into a room after he deteriorated. All he could remember was a […]