TOUGH?

Arnold Schwarzenegger, got nothing on me,

I could eat The Predator for my tea,

Make Chuck Norris cry and Steven Seagal weep,

Leave Sly Stallone in an emotional heap,

Put Tyson Fury on the floor, Freddy Krueger would be no more,

Finally put Michael Myers in his grave, Russell Crowe would be my slave,

Bruce Willis knees would turn to jelly, Vin diesel crawling on his belly,

Wolverine would howl out in pain, I’d pour the Joker down the drain,

But one thing turns my knees a quiver,

I shake, rattle, spine starts to shiver,

My mouth goes dry, throat turns to sand,

It sets fire to my adrenal gland,

That knock on the door it scares me witless,

Oh God why me it’s a Jehovah’s witness,

I’ll jump and hide behind the chair,

With a bit of luck they won’t see me there,

I stay put, but I need a shower, the letterbox flaps, it’s the watch tower,

Tap tap tap I crouch down more, lay down prone on the laminate floor,

A sigh of relief as footsteps fade, my nerves are on a razor blade,

The next door knock, breathe again, fantastic! Don’t want to talk Ecclesiastic,

They’ll come again, unfinished business, how on earth can’t you celebrate Christmas?

Maybe I’ll be nice and welcome them in, chat about religion, and all of my sin,

But in my mind I’ll be thinking it’s time for a quaff, if he doesn’t leave soon I’ll shout out, “PISS OFF!”

27 Replies to “TOUGH?”

  1. Oh my goodness, this was hysterical! Are you on Facebook? With your permission I’d like to share this on a group I manage called Write Here. It’s a public group so you can check it out first. I’d also like to invite you to join our little group if you’re interested; it’s nothing more than posting your works for others to read – no pressure at all. Please let me know if it’s ok to publish this on Write Here. Have yourself a great weekend, don’t answer the door and stay close to the floor! 😂

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Great! I’ll get it posted either tomorrow or Monday. When you have a sec, stop by and take a look. If you’re interested let me know and I can sent you an invite. Enjoy your holiday weekend.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. I don’t see anything pending on Write Here. I can invite you to join the group straight away but I don’t have your last name so won’t be able to find you on Facebook. You can send me a private message on Facebook. Just go to my profile page … Nancy Richy … an look for the message box.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Just got home so I’ll take a look now if there’s anything pending from you on Write Here. If not, I’ll explain to you what to do. Hope you sorted it out. You’ve got some sound ink that others would enjoy!

        Like

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