A one legged pigeon from Sheffield, Very cool,laid back and quite chilled, He hopped and he pecked, Half can of beer he necked, Then hiccuped, swore and then keeled! I was sat outside Sheffield hospital just minding my own business when this one legged wonder appeared. His friend got even closer then both of them … Continue reading Pigeon
Flying away to sand and sun, a little hanky panky, with some girl, name unknown, ouzo breathe, quite lanky, Wakey wakey! The Brits are here, the yobs are back in town, The girls aren't too far behind, how many drinks can they down? Booming sound and flashing lights, drink and pop those pills, No pail … Continue reading FUN IN THE SUN!
Summer is here! Get out your brollies, Soggy food in your vest and trollies, Here I am, feeling a bit like Cinderella, Going nowhere with a cold sausage and warm can of Stella, Wait! Wait! I see the Sun! Better dry out that burger bun, It's getting hotter! Oh Fantastic! Time to have fun, be … Continue reading Summer time…..
Jim sucked in his stumHe wanted some funLet the story beginHer name was BrendaThose hips were slenderBut opportunites round here were thinHe gave her the lineWhen they drank the red wine And those pub lights were dimSo Jim brought her homeTheir hands started to roam After drinking most of the ginIn the dance of lustThey … Continue reading One night love.
Mother Nature turned and said, " What have you people done?""I've been here for quite a while spinning around this big old Sun."" You came along and took me for a ride."" Killing and poisoning me, you'll be crying when I've died."" So you think you know better than me?"" Polluting my sky and throwing … Continue reading MOTHER NATURE.
Orange is the deadliest fruit, Take a bite and it will shoot, It's deadly venom into the sky, A direct hit, straight in the eye, Pain hits, have you been stung by a bee? No it's worse than that, blinded by vitamin C, Next time I'm sticking to a granny smith, Cos this sphere of … Continue reading The fruit of death…
It's funny really but I thought poetry was just for 'Arty Farty' types (apologies to any Arty Farty types out there) and not a numbskull like me. How wrong I was! Turns out I've been really enjoying it here. So I wrote a few. I only ever intended to do a couple of small blogs..... … Continue reading The Bransholme Cowboy.
The wind blew the tree and the tree danced back Branches creaked Murderous crows swooped and squawked Laughing from above Black sillouettes on gray pallete Dappled leaves lazily float away to pile and decay Bark, withered like old skin It's roots twist and turn, burrow into earth and stone Standing, grown through seasons past Summers … Continue reading TREE.
A barking dog and a big white van, Early morning frost and a dustbin man, Kids go to School via the bakers shop, Four sausage rolls make your heart say stop, Smoking mother's chewing the fat, Pass a wrinkled man in an old woolly hat, Straight to the bookies, his money will diminish, Bellow at … Continue reading THESE STREETS..
" Ug ug?" the Caveman said kindly to his one and only, " Ug!Ug!" she snapped, sick to death of his baloney, "Ug....ug?" he said, his large forehead frowning, "UG!!UG!!uuggg!" she raged, her chest starts 'a'pounding, "....ug? " he says and glanced around the cave, " Ug. Ug. Ug. Ug. Ug," she shouts, sick of … Continue reading The very first argument in the world..
I sail the boat, the good ship 'Me', Through gales, wind, and stormy sea, Crushed, smashed, a broken sail, Hold the wheel, I must prevail... The good ship 'Me' plows proudly on, Cut through the blue, the clouds are gone, The sun shines down, the sky is clear, Gaze to the horizon, it holds no … Continue reading The Good ship, Me.
We have so much cash Send a Rover to Mars Satellites and rockets All the way to the stars Spend millions on bombs Bullets and guns War is a profit Killing fathers and sons With billionaires bloated Greased political palms Then church on a sunday Reading the psalms And people are starving No food in … Continue reading FAT CATS.
My wife said this morning how much I've mellowed and now I'm a pussycat....."My little pussycat..." I don't know if I should be happy or offended... I don't want to be a pussycat...I want to be a lion.... I DONT WANT TO BE A PUSSYCAT, I WANT TO BE A LION, SAT ON THE SAVANNA, … Continue reading PUSSYCAT OR LION?
It's time to tidy the garden, that's a very good idea, Or do a spot of D.I.Y, it is that time of year, I could cook up some tasty food or just make a cup of tea, But I really can't be arsed, and I badly need a wee, I could paint a masterpiece, make … Continue reading PROCASTINATE
My wife has cooked the food Now I'm washing the pots Every single piece of cutlery And I mean lots and lots! I wash, I dry And still no end in sight I'll be knee deep in suds Til the middle of the night So spare a thought as you fall to sleep Tucked up … Continue reading POTS & PANS