The fruit of death…

Orange is the deadliest fruit, Take a bite and it will shoot, It's deadly venom into the sky, A direct hit, straight in the eye, Pain hits, have you been stung by a bee? No it's worse than that, blinded by vitamin C, Next time …

TREE.

The wind blew the tree and the tree danced back Branches creaked Murderous crows swooped and squawked Laughing from above Black sillouettes on gray pallete Dappled leaves lazily float away to pile and decay Bark, withered like old skin It's roots twist and turn, burrow …

Lost in space two…the revenge of the menu.

Oh man..... technology wins yet again... Every Braincell has been used. Every dark recess of my mind has been searched and still it's a no no. Damn this modern , fast paced, super speedy world we live in. All I want to do is change …

Muscle.

Pump the iron make the Hulk look puny, Jog till you drop like a demented loony, Flexing in red shorts looking mean and moody, Plenty of Punch with a touch of Judy, Up at six addicted to sweat, Kale smoothie at eight, I wouldn't touch …

THESE STREETS..

A barking dog and a big white van, Early morning frost and a dustbin man, Kids go to School via the bakers shop, Four sausage rolls make your heart say stop, Smoking mother's chewing the fat, Pass a wrinkled man in an old woolly hat, …

Dancing with Rats.

My wife walked slowly backward into the living room, her shaking hand pointing and said, " Massive rat in the garden......" A bit like Chief Brody in Jaws when he sees the Great White up close and personal. I jumped up, well slowly rose, knees …

The very first argument in the world..

" Ug ug?" the Caveman said kindly to his one and only, " Ug!Ug!" she snapped, sick to death of his baloney, "Ug....ug?" he said, his large forehead frowning, "UG!!UG!!uuggg!" she raged, her chest starts 'a'pounding, "....ug? " he says and glanced around the cave, …

The Good ship, Me.

I sail the boat, the good ship 'Me', Through gales, wind, and stormy sea, Crushed, smashed, a broken sail, Hold the wheel, I must prevail... The good ship 'Me' plows proudly on, Cut through the blue, the clouds are gone, The sun shines down, the …

THE END IS NIGH!

Meeting your maker... popping your clogs... bite the dust.... kicking the bucket..I've had more brushes with death than Evil Knievel and I don't ride a motorcycle or wear the cape. And I definitely haven't tried to jump the Grand Canyon. But I have had a …

PUSSYCAT OR LION?

My wife said this morning how much I've mellowed and now I'm a pussycat....."My little pussycat..." I don't know if I should be happy or offended... I don't want to be a pussycat...I want to be a lion.... I DONT WANT TO BE A PUSSYCAT, …

PROCASTINATE

It's time to tidy the garden, that's a very good idea, Or do a spot of D.I.Y, it is that time of year, I could cook up some tasty food or just make a cup of tea, But I really can't be arsed, and I …

Forever Covid.

Most people who have read my blogs will know I had coronavirus last year. A very rough time and for a while we all thought I was going to kick the bucket. But luckily for me that didn't happen so I fully expected to recover, …

Covid Race 2…..

Long covid diary... Day two hundred and twenty eight.....and counting. I'm feeling a bit better than I did I'm happy to report. I've gone from death's door, then feeling absolutely shite to  terrible. Now I'm currently fairly crap which is a positive. And I don't …

TODAY’S THE DAY.

First of May nineteen sixty five. An amazing event occurred. The angels sang, the heavens shook and flags were unfurled. I came into this world. I don't know exactly what time because I didn't have my watch on but one second it was dark the …