The wedding (part two)

That’s 6 hrs 6 mins if you’re in a Ferrari. Took nearly 9 hours but worth every mile. What a beautiful place…. And of course, the happy couple!

The wedding. (Part one)

“No we don’t need to get married… We’re not bothered” Three years ago….. “We just don’t want all the fuss…” Two years ago… We might one day. Who knows?” Eighteen months ago.. “We might get married next year…” Four months ago… “Maybe next April…” Two months ago… “What are you doing on the twenty sixth […]

The Bank Card

That tinny ringing in my ear goes on for a while… “Hello….welcome to ******bank…. So we can help you please listen to the following options….. Oh God… Press one for telephone banking. Two for any unauthorized transactions. Three for lost or stolen cards. Four to activate your new card. Press five to hear this again […]

NORTH POINT.

We have a few shopping centres dotted about here in Hull. These kind of places are all very similar aren’t they, same shops, same bright lights. But we have one here slap bang in the middle of a huge council estate in the north of the city that’s been around for years. It’s called North […]

Family history

I’ve been researching my family tree for a few years now, off and on because basically, I’m hoping somewhere down the line I have royal blood. After all I have ears like Prince Charles. Or if not regal, at the very least a Lord or Lady. I’m still searching but all I’ve found is paupers, […]

Back door blues…

So the dining room door has dropped…. You have to kind of lift the handle to close it with a grinding snap, the whole frame shuddering, a 5.5 on the Richter scale. I tell myself it’s a five, ten minute job, no problem. But nearly an hour later I’m scratching my head with the door […]

All I want is a sandwich….

A couple of weeks ago I went to a place I vowed never to go back to….My first experience there was horrific… A nightmare that left me emotional scarred for life…I still can’t eat a chicken sandwich without having a flashback……. Many moons ago we were doing a bit of shopping and my wife said, […]

The Ick…

Never knew what the Ick was until I watched Love Island (Don’t be judging me) and apparently it’s when a woman goes off a man… A gin and tonicHe feels bionicDoesn’t know it’s just platonicIt’s catastrophicShe’s catatonicBored to tears it’s unharmonicHe’s philamonicStereophonicFlying high,supersonicHe’s just colonicSubmoronicAvoid him like the plague bubonicHe goes erratic She gets sardonicCrack’s […]

Two funerals, a few sausage rolls and a pink feather boa.

Two funerals in three weeks. My brother in law first then my sister in law. They were very chalk and cheese and the funerals showed that. For John, it was no service as such because he didn’t believe in God. Pink Floyd played The Great Gig In The Sky and most of The Dark Side […]

Me and the Pope.

We left the Czech Republic a couple of days ago. My grandson is still in hospital there but tests have been good so fingers crossed he’ll be out soon. When we landed at Manchester Airport I kissed the tarmac ala Pope John Paul the second. I don’t know how he did it so many times […]

Award!!

I’ve won an award! The Honourable Order of Best Blog owners! The last time I actually won something was in the amusement arcade in Bridlington. One of those grabber machines. Might have been a teddy bear, or a dog…not a real one that would be cruel sticking a pooch in the glass box. So thank […]

TOUGH?

Arnold Schwarzenegger, got nothing on me, I could eat The Predator for my tea, Make Chuck Norris cry and Steven Seagal weep, Leave Sly Stallone in an emotional heap, Put Tyson Fury on the floor, Freddy Krueger would be no more, Finally put Michael Myers in his grave, Russell Crowe would be my slave, Bruce […]