It’s been that time of the year here in Hull. The largest traveling fair in Europe comes to town for a week of chaos. The noise, lights and the aroma of burgers, burnt onions, hot dogs and chips fills the air. For some reason coconut’s are always on every stall. Millions of them. Brown, hairy […]
Where the heart is.
It was at that very second, after nearly fourty years of marriage, two grown up boys and years of put downs and insults, the decision was made. There, in her kitchen. She was going to murder him. Not in the fit of rage that already started to build up in her, but a cold, calculated […]
If Boris Johnson was the Captain of the Titanic….. “Let’s not dither and delay! Yes the waters have been choppy and the iceberg was avoidable! But I’ve already made significant change’s. The lookouts have assured me no party took place. It’s time to put it behind us and get the job done!” “But a third […]
A light touch.
Paul locked the cubicle and sat on the toilet lid. He pulled out the purse and zipped it open, deftly picking out the notes and counting quickly. Fourty five quid. Plus coins of course. Not bad. The woman had been busy with her young kid in a buggy, a bit flustered as the boy screamed […]
Eton CollegeThe place to beGet to the topAll things parliamentaryConservative leadersChurned out, never stopReminds me ofAn Indian sweatshopMoulded by moneySculptured on powerChiselled in arroganceThey grow to devourAnd the future brightWith these Tory boysOur country their playgroundAnd we are the toys.
That tinny ringing in my ear goes on for a while… “Hello….welcome to ******bank…. So we can help you please listen to the following options….. Oh God… Press one for telephone banking. Two for any unauthorized transactions. Three for lost or stolen cards. Four to activate your new card. Press five to hear this again […]
It’s the last round…the world is on the ropes being battered by big industry… It’s hanging on grimly…about to fall to it’s knees…down and out… So where do we go from here? Phase down coal but not phase out? Mind you I was trying to cut out biscuits but now I’m phasing them down. One […]
Last night it showed a clip on the news about the wildfires in Turkey. The reporter filming from a beach in the big resort of Marmaris, a very popular place with the British holidaymaker. The hills were on fire. The sky red and smoke everywhere. Lots of men and women running around but even more […]
What are your plans for this weekend? Anything exciting? I’m thinking of taking my private jet to the south of France and stay on my super yacht for a day or two. Or maybe go a little bit further, skim across the sea to Tuscany and visit my favourite restaurant, La Donk’e Hoof. The head […]
Man on the run!
I’m a man on the run. The tax men are chasing me! HMRC are on my tail! I’ve had five phone calls today off different numbers all Repeating the same thing. Automated, same bloke telling me if I don’t pay they’re going to put out a warrant for my arrest. Press one, it says, to […]
We have so much cash Send a Rover to Mars Satellites and rockets All the way to the stars Spend millions on bombs Bullets and guns War is a profit Killing fathers and sons With billionaires bloated Greased political palms Then church on a sunday Reading the psalms And people are starving No food in […]
I’m a hopeless romantic. And if you’re lucky enough to have found a soulmate then you’ve got it made…. But…. Valentine’s Day…Why does it cost three times as much to buy a bunch of flowers? Or double the price for a box of chocolates because they’ve got a red ribbon on them….And the cards are […]