Never knew what the Ick was until I watched Love Island (Don’t be judging me) and apparently it’s when a woman goes off a man… A gin and tonicHe feels bionicDoesn’t know it’s just platonicIt’s catastrophicShe’s catatonicBored to tears it’s unharmonicHe’s philamonicStereophonicFlying high,supersonicHe’s just colonicSubmoronicAvoid him like the plague bubonicHe goes erratic She gets sardonicCrack’s […]
Jimmy quietly put on his clothes in the half darkness. Wallet, keys, angina spray, all ready to go. He opened his door slowly, peeking out, giving the corridor a quick left right. All clear. Operation Daytrip was well and truly on. He could hear coughing in a room as he passed. Margaret was up, spluttering […]
” Your lights are on…but no one’s home…” The famous opening line from Robert Palmer’s hit song, Addicted to Love. Remember that 1980s video with the supermodels playing the instruments and Robert looking very dapper? It’s very apt for the contestants on Love Island. All muscle, tattoo’s, and sun kissed beauties pouting. It’s everything I […]
Jim sucked in his stumHe wanted some funLet the story beginHer name was BrendaThose hips were slenderBut opportunites round here were thinHe gave her the lineWhen they drank the red wine And those pub lights were dimSo Jim brought her homeTheir hands started to roam After drinking most of the ginIn the dance of lustThey […]
I’m a hopeless romantic. And if you’re lucky enough to have found a soulmate then you’ve got it made…. But…. Valentine’s Day…Why does it cost three times as much to buy a bunch of flowers? Or double the price for a box of chocolates because they’ve got a red ribbon on them….And the cards are […]
Life is a rusty rollercoaster 