It’s strange….I’m now in my late fifties. I know, I know, it’s amazing isn’t it, don’t look a day over twenty. But one thing I noticed in Tenerife were the amount of elderly people tottering about. Hundreds of old British, German and Spanish spring chickens bumping into each other, shuffling along. It’s a kind of […]
Tag: #funny
I was listening to the radio the other morning. The DJ started waffling on as DJs do, he asked, “If you had a time machine and could go back in time, where would you go and why?” All the usual answers came in. To see the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. Pompeii as Mount […]
Good God I’ve seen some weird sights in my time but I witnessed the strangest thing while I was on holiday. A local couple walked slowly beside the harbour as we sat on a bench. Wonderful, hot sunshine beating down onto my pale, vitamin D deficient skin. Two buskers had a saxophone/ piano thing going […]
You see a lot of them, this time of year. Faces that should be shining with glad tidings and joy but look more like a slapped arse. Their cup of Christmas cheer is leaking and definitely down to the dregs. Those morose shop assistants having to wear a ridiculous hat whatever the circumstances…. Had a […]
I’ve been a busy bunny lately with a few things so the blogging has taken a bit of a back seat. Just looking at my messages and apparently I have new ‘Followers’. My lord I’m so popular! My blog is reaching the masses! I’m going worldwide! But I’ve got to be honest, some of them […]
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Where the heart is.
It was at that very second, after nearly fourty years of marriage, two grown up boys and years of put downs and insults, the decision was made. There, in her kitchen. She was going to murder him. Not in the fit of rage that already started to build up in her, but a cold, calculated […]
Back in the Czech Republic for awhile. We had a fantastic storm last night. Something straight out of a horror movie. Dr Frankenstein would have loved it. The wind started to howl, amazing lightening flashed and thunder literally did shake the building. Today though, has been very hot and beautiful. We walked to the shops […]
I know nature is a wonderful thing, our planet is amazing isn’t it, from the highest peaks of The Andes to the black, bottomless oceans. Creatures of all kinds, from plankton to whales, ants to elephants it really is incredible. And one thing I like about wild animals, birds especially, they are much better at […]
That tinny ringing in my ear goes on for a while… “Hello….welcome to ******bank…. So we can help you please listen to the following options….. Oh God… Press one for telephone banking. Two for any unauthorized transactions. Three for lost or stolen cards. Four to activate your new card. Press five to hear this again […]
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Gobbledygook
Had a brief chat with a very Scottish gentleman yesterday about his dog. He said, “Fbhgrggvi.. kadfvggc.. Staffie! gswrgxjhug ..bad press! Dinnae srthvfdk ..great dog!” I nodded, patted the hound, not my favourite canine in the world and half expecting the beast to bite my hand clean off. “Dnjgryggvt dytf!…soft!” I haven’t got a thing […]
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All I want is a sandwich….
A couple of weeks ago I went to a place I vowed never to go back to….My first experience there was horrific… A nightmare that left me emotional scarred for life…I still can’t eat a chicken sandwich without having a flashback……. Many moons ago we were doing a bit of shopping and my wife said, […]
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Aaarrrrr!!
A one legged pirate from Tring Hopped the jive, a foxtrot and swing The samba he slipped, fell over and tripped And ended both arms in a sling!
Life is a rusty rollercoaster 