Muscle.

Pump the iron make the Hulk look puny, Jog till you drop like a demented loony, Flexing in red shorts looking mean and moody, Plenty of Punch with a touch of Judy, Up at six addicted to sweat, Kale smoothie at eight, I wouldn't touch …

A DEAD BOD.

I don't know where you live but here in Britain the dialects, accents vary greatly from place to place. What somebody says in one part of the country might not make any sense in another part. Here in Hull we have quite a few different …

Dancing with Rats.

My wife walked slowly backward into the living room, her shaking hand pointing and said, " Massive rat in the garden......" A bit like Chief Brody in Jaws when he sees the Great White up close and personal. I jumped up, well slowly rose, knees …

The very first argument in the world..

" Ug ug?" the Caveman said kindly to his one and only, " Ug!Ug!" she snapped, sick to death of his baloney, "Ug....ug?" he said, his large forehead frowning, "UG!!UG!!uuggg!" she raged, her chest starts 'a'pounding, "....ug? " he says and glanced around the cave, …

THE FASTEST NUN IN THE WEST….

How were your school days? Good? Bad?....Well I don't know who said school days are the best days of your life but what an idiot! And they definitely didn't go to my school..... Nowadays teachers and pupils are almost friends the way they are with …

POTS & PANS

My wife has cooked the food Now I'm washing the pots Every single piece of cutlery And I mean lots and lots! I wash, I dry And still no end in sight I'll be knee deep in suds Til the middle of the night So …