Categories
blog death Holiday life old age Tenerife travel

How to dodge a coffin….

It’s strange….I’m now in my late fifties. I know, I know, it’s amazing isn’t it, don’t look a day over twenty. But one thing I noticed in Tenerife were the amount of elderly people tottering about. Hundreds of old British, German and Spanish spring chickens bumping into each other, shuffling along. It’s a kind of […]

Categories
blog Boris, sleaze, politics.party Brain strain history Time

Chop! Chop!

I was listening to the radio the other morning. The DJ started waffling on as DJs do, he asked, “If you had a time machine and could go back in time, where would you go and why?” All the usual answers came in. To see the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs. Pompeii as Mount […]

Categories
blog dogs Holiday I don't understand! old age Tenerife travel

Dog on wheels…

Good God I’ve seen some weird sights in my time but I witnessed the strangest thing while I was on holiday. A local couple walked slowly beside the harbour as we sat on a bench. Wonderful, hot sunshine beating down onto my pale, vitamin D deficient skin. Two buskers had a saxophone/ piano thing going […]

Categories
blog Elf unhappy Xmas!

The Unhappy Elf.

You see a lot of them, this time of year. Faces that should be shining with glad tidings and joy but look more like a slapped arse. Their cup of Christmas cheer is leaking and definitely down to the dregs. Those morose shop assistants having to wear a ridiculous hat whatever the circumstances…. Had a […]

Categories
blog funny health, food, life money

Followers

I’ve been a busy bunny lately with a few things so the blogging has taken a bit of a back seat. Just looking at my messages and apparently I have new ‘Followers’. My lord I’m so popular! My blog is reaching the masses! I’m going worldwide! But I’ve got to be honest, some of them […]

Categories
creative writing murder short stories

Where the heart is.

It was at that very second, after nearly fourty years of marriage, two grown up boys and years of put downs and insults, the decision was made. There, in her kitchen. She was going to murder him. Not in the fit of rage that already started to build up in her, but a cold, calculated […]

Categories
blog bubbles Czech toys travel

Bubbles?

Back in the Czech Republic for awhile. We had a fantastic storm last night. Something straight out of a horror movie. Dr Frankenstein would have loved it. The wind started to howl, amazing lightening flashed and thunder literally did shake the building. Today though, has been very hot and beautiful. We walked to the shops […]

Categories
blog food nature wild.

Wonders of nature

I know nature is a wonderful thing, our planet is amazing isn’t it, from the highest peaks of The Andes to the black, bottomless oceans. Creatures of all kinds, from plankton to whales, ants to elephants it really is incredible. And one thing I like about wild animals, birds especially, they are much better at […]

Categories
blog I don't understand! life money technology Telephone banking

The Bank Card

That tinny ringing in my ear goes on for a while… “Hello….welcome to ******bank…. So we can help you please listen to the following options….. Oh God… Press one for telephone banking. Two for any unauthorized transactions. Three for lost or stolen cards. Four to activate your new card. Press five to hear this again […]

Categories
Accents blog Galashiels Scotland

Gobbledygook

Had a brief chat with a very Scottish gentleman yesterday about his dog. He said, “Fbhgrggvi.. kadfvggc.. Staffie! gswrgxjhug ..bad press! Dinnae srthvfdk ..great dog!” I nodded, patted the hound, not my favourite canine in the world and half expecting the beast to bite my hand clean off. “Dnjgryggvt dytf!…soft!” I haven’t got a thing […]

Categories
blog funny health, food, life

All I want is a sandwich….

A couple of weeks ago I went to a place I vowed never to go back to….My first experience there was horrific… A nightmare that left me emotional scarred for life…I still can’t eat a chicken sandwich without having a flashback……. Many moons ago we were doing a bit of shopping and my wife said, […]

Categories
dancing, humour, poem

Aaarrrrr!!

A one legged pirate from Tring Hopped the jive, a foxtrot and swing The samba he slipped, fell over and tripped And ended both arms in a sling!