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blog life married Scotland SUMMER

The wedding (part two)

That’s 6 hrs 6 mins if you’re in a Ferrari. Took nearly 9 hours but worth every mile. What a beautiful place…. And of course, the happy couple!

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blog I don't understand! life money technology Telephone banking

The Bank Card

That tinny ringing in my ear goes on for a while… “Hello….welcome to ******bank…. So we can help you please listen to the following options….. Oh God… Press one for telephone banking. Two for any unauthorized transactions. Three for lost or stolen cards. Four to activate your new card. Press five to hear this again […]

Categories
blog funny health, food, life

All I want is a sandwich….

A couple of weeks ago I went to a place I vowed never to go back to….My first experience there was horrific… A nightmare that left me emotional scarred for life…I still can’t eat a chicken sandwich without having a flashback……. Many moons ago we were doing a bit of shopping and my wife said, […]

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blog death Grief life Religion

Two funerals, a few sausage rolls and a pink feather boa.

Two funerals in three weeks. My brother in law first then my sister in law. They were very chalk and cheese and the funerals showed that. For John, it was no service as such because he didn’t believe in God. Pink Floyd played The Great Gig In The Sky and most of The Dark Side […]

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Czech life passport photo poem

Passport.

MY PASSPORT IS BRAND NEW, BUT I LOOK ALL OUT OF KILTER THAT SHADOW ACROSS MY NOSE, GIVES ME A TASH LIKE ADOLF HITLER IS THAT MY FACE? BLANK AS PAPER, NO SMILE OR LAUGHING EYES? SHOULD BE IN A SHOP WINDOW, A MANNEQUIN IN DISGUISE HOW DID THEY LET ME OUT OF THE COUNTRY? […]

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life poem Religion

TOUGH?

Arnold Schwarzenegger, got nothing on me, I could eat The Predator for my tea, Make Chuck Norris cry and Steven Seagal weep, Leave Sly Stallone in an emotional heap, Put Tyson Fury on the floor, Freddy Krueger would be no more, Finally put Michael Myers in his grave, Russell Crowe would be my slave, Bruce […]

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life

Life

Life takes us down a twisty, turny path sometimes doesn’t it. Haven’t felt like blogging much these last few weeks. Four months ago my first grandchild was born. A beautiful boy named after me. How can you have that much love for someone you haven’t seen before? Crazy. Anyway he hasn’t been very well, in […]

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drinking Holiday, Greece life poem SUMMER

FUN IN THE SUN!

Flying away to sand and sun, a little hanky panky, with some girl, name unknown, ouzo breathe, quite lanky, Wakey wakey! The Brits are here, the yobs are back in town, The girls aren’t too far behind, how many drinks can they down? Booming sound and flashing lights, drink and pop those pills, No pail […]

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#money funny life scams

Man on the run!

I’m a man on the run. The tax men are chasing me! HMRC are on my tail! I’ve had five phone calls today off different numbers all Repeating the same thing. Automated, same bloke telling me if I don’t pay they’re going to put out a warrant for my arrest. Press one, it says, to […]

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health, food, life

Kale v Bacon.

I’m sat here listening to the radio,( Queen. Another one bites the dust. What a tune!) taking my morning concoction of tablets for the old ticker and enjoying a tray of fruit. Definitely more than five a day. Healthy body, healthy mind I tell myself, wishing I had a bacon sandwich instead, with fried mushrooms […]

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City life poem

THESE STREETS..

A barking dog and a big white van, Early morning frost and a dustbin man, Kids go to School via the bakers shop, Four sausage rolls make your heart say stop, Smoking mother’s chewing the fat, Pass a wrinkled man in an old woolly hat, Straight to the bookies, his money will diminish, Bellow at […]

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#funny #nature life rats

Dancing with Rats.

My wife walked slowly backward into the living room, her shaking hand pointing and said, ” Massive rat in the garden……” A bit like Chief Brody in Jaws when he sees the Great White up close and personal. I jumped up, well slowly rose, knees popping, bones creaking and had a look but the blighter […]