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#fruit #funny poem

The fruit of death…

Orange is the deadliest fruit, Take a bite and it will shoot, It’s deadly venom into the sky, A direct hit, straight in the eye, Pain hits, have you been stung by a bee? No it’s worse than that, blinded by vitamin C, Next time I’m sticking to a granny smith, Cos this sphere of […]

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#funny muscle, fitness, vanity poem

Muscle.

Pump the iron make the Hulk look puny, Jog till you drop like a demented loony, Flexing in red shorts looking mean and moody, Plenty of Punch with a touch of Judy, Up at six addicted to sweat, Kale smoothie at eight, I wouldn’t touch that for a bet, The vainest man that I ever […]

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#funny #nature life rats

Dancing with Rats.

My wife walked slowly backward into the living room, her shaking hand pointing and said, ” Massive rat in the garden……” A bit like Chief Brody in Jaws when he sees the Great White up close and personal. I jumped up, well slowly rose, knees popping, bones creaking and had a look but the blighter […]

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#funny #love caveman poem

The very first argument in the world..

” Ug ug?” the Caveman said kindly to his one and only, ” Ug!Ug!” she snapped, sick to death of his baloney, “Ug….ug?” he said, his large forehead frowning, “UG!!UG!!uuggg!” she raged, her chest starts ‘a’pounding, “….ug? ” he says and glanced around the cave, ” Ug. Ug. Ug. Ug. Ug,” she shouts, sick of […]

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#funny Religion School days

THE FASTEST NUN IN THE WEST….

How were your school days? Good? Bad?….Well I don’t know who said school days are the best days of your life but what an idiot! And they definitely didn’t go to my school….. Nowadays teachers and pupils are almost friends the way they are with each other. Back in the 70s when corporal punishment ruled […]