Elf

My dearest Elf....... Please Elf on the shelf You're so full of impish fun But if I see you one more time I'll dig out my tommy gun Go back from where you came That factory faraway in China That little creepy face of yours Is giving me angina And if I see you near …

Past Christmas.

I've never wrote a poem in my life but here goes....a little Christmas ode.... Oh Christmas time..... Not enough money in our pockets, Too many plugs to fit in sockets, A good excuse to drink all day, A drunken Santa on his sleigh. Eat a full pork pie and a selection box, Slumped in a …