Two bee oar knot too B

” Alas poor Yorick….I knew him…” Actually I don’t have a clue who the man was, apart from he was a skull. Shakespeare passed me by at school. I was far too busy avoiding power crazed priests with bamboo canes or throwing blackboard rubbers in my direction. In fact when I see a Catholic priest now I get on my knees and say three Hail Marys… Shakespeare was a very busy boy, he used that many quills he had to live next to a turkey farm. I know millions of people have enjoy his works but I just don’t get it. I know a few though. As Hamlet said to King Lear in Macbeth, “ate two Brute?” I don’t know exactly what Brute scoffed but the Roman fella wasn’t happy. Romeo and Juliet? A little bit. Juliet’s last name was balcony and had a brother called cantilever. Richard the Third had a hump and wanted a horse, shouting,” I’ve walked so hard my legs gone wonky, will someone fetch me a bleeding donkey!” In the end the poor sod ended up under a car park in Leicester.

It’s all the lingo I don’t get. Thees and thou arts and doths. Some of his words are just weird. What the hell is a Kicky- wicky? Or a Bawcock? Sounds very painful. The man was prolific though, Scratching that parchment day and night. Must have drove his wife up the wall. Two in a morning and he’s bent over a candle, the feather going ten to the dozen. He couldn’t have been too keen on her though. In his Will he gave her his second best bed. It’s insulting enough to be left one bed but the second best? I reckon she got it straight on ye olde ebay’th.

I suppose though, if you can have your works translated into every language and still be popular after four hundred years it can’t be all bad, even if his plays go on forever. Hamlet was on telly a while back and it went on for four hours….no breaks….even some of the actors fell asleep and some people in the audience were snoring. If ever I can’t sleep I’ll read a bit Of King Lear and be in Dreamland after a few minutes.

I’ll try and persevere a bit more but it’s not looking good. It’s difficult to follow, like a Boris Johnson speech. It’s all Greek to me…..