All hallows eve ….

Oh man it’s Halloween weekend…now we have to have a full weekend….the days of scraping a turnip out with a rusty spoon and sticking a tiny candle in it have long gone. Now it’s kids and parents dressed as monsters or zombies knocking on your door carrying little plastic buckets waiting to be filled with sweeties. The one good thing is I get rid of all the previous years sweets that are in the back of the cupboard. Old, rock hard jellies. Ancient chocolates that nobody could be bothered to eat ( you know the hard toffee ones ) half open packet of licorice all-sorts from years ago and out of date marshmallows that look like they have been tarred and feathered.

It’s gone crazy now. Adults having parties spending loads of money to look like Freddy Krueger or a sexy vampire. World’s gone mad. It’s like St Patrick’s day. Just a good excuse to get pissed! The kids are sat around, sick of apple bobbing and swallowing too much water as well as copious amounts of E numbers while the grown ups get drunk downing the prosecco. The Americans have given us some good things over the years but this definitely isn’t one of them.

I’ve taken precautions this year though. Batteries out of the doorbell for a start. Every two minutes ding bloody dong. I’ve also cut out a photo of Margaret Thatcher and stuck it on the front door. Did the trick because the postman ran off screaming this morning. If that doesn’t work on the kids I’ll close the curtains, plug my ears up and see what happens. If all else fails I have a sign to put in the window. I’VE GOT COVID! It says…. I’ll give them trick or treat….